A Silent Prayer
by Kat58
Summary: Carter is struck with an illness as the ER team rushes to save him. Later discoveries make Abby question the morality of being a doctor and how far she will go to save the man she loves.
1. Default Chapter

Ok guys here it goes, another Carby fanfiction! Regular disclaimer applies.  
  
Chapter One: The Fastest Day  
  
It was raining outside Abby's apartment. It was a typical October morning, cold and gray. When her alarm went off she was already awake and hit it quickly, careful not to disturb the body sleeping next to her. She rolled over on her fluffy covers and looked at Carter. He was sleeping on his back with his hands resting on his stomach. He never seemed to move when he slept, he unlike her could actually sleep all the way through the night without being woken up by a noise or a bad dream. She pulled her hair back and reached over and kissed him on his forehead. Then she worked her way to the end of the bed and stepped onto the cool hardwood floor. The coolness gave her a shudder and she reached for her sweater and headed for the bathroom. Carter's shift didn't start for another five hours so there was no reason for him to be up this early, but she had to be at the hospital in forty-five minutes. After she had gone through her morning routine she quickly dressed and was out the door without another look. Once she walked outside the cold wind almost threw her off her feet. She grabbed onto the door handle to steady herself. After a minute she tucked her scarf into her jacket and she was off. It was only a few blocks to the El and she walked very quickly. Within fifteen minutes she arrived at the hospital, and her job was waiting for her. The whole place was decorated with Halloween garb and she was surprised that she had forgotten, it was trick-or-treat time, too bad she had such a long shift. After going to her locker and putting away her coat she sat down on the bench to change her shoes, she never heard the door open.  
  
"Booo HAHA!!" She heard as a slimy plastic snake was dropped down the back of her shirt. "AHHHH" she screamed, as she turned around with her fist flying through the air. Connection. "Oops" is all she could mutter as she saw Luka fly across the room. "I'm so sorry." she began to say but he held up his hand in the air and shook his head, "No, I am, Jerry was telling me about Halloween pranks that you all have pulled over the years and I thought it would be funny. It wasn't and I'm sorry" He got up and he couldn't even look at Abby as he walked out the door. Susan was on her way in and as she looked up and saw his bloody lip she just bit hers to stop the smile that was creeping onto her face. Once he was completely out of earshot they both started laughing. "I don't even want to know!" Susan confessed as she put her coat away and walked out. Abby hadn't realized how tired she really was until she tried to stand up. She sighed and rubbed her head. She didn't want coffee; she just needed to move around. As soon as she opened the door she was bombarded, with Luka saying "multiple GSW coming in, are you ready?" "Oh boy" she said, "This is going to be a long day."  
  
An hour after Carter's shift was supposed to start he was still not in. Abby hadn't really looked at the clock because she had been so busy, but in between a trauma and a crutch fitting she finally noticed. Sometime around noon Jerry got a call at the front desk and beeped Abby. Since she was just taking a break anyway she walked up to him just as he was hanging up the phone. He said, "Carter called in sick. He asked if I would tell you to pick up some dinner when you came home, since he hopes he will be feeling better then." She rolled her eyes and said, " I guess he doesn't know that I get off at eleven then huh? Oh well, let me call him back." However right after she said that a gurney came crashing in through the ER doors, it had a young kid on it with a broken leg. The EMT said, "we have his father in right behind him, car vs. 18 wheeler." She squinted her eyes, she knew what that meant, another really bad trauma filled with loss, suffering, and most of all, pain. Four hours later they finally got the situation under control. They sent the little boy up to surgery and his dad to the morgue. Before Abby could even sit down Jerry was calling for her. As she walked over to him he could see that it had already been a long day and did not want to give her anymore bad news but he thought that she would like to know. "Hey Abby, sorry to bother you again, but Carter called. He wants to know if you could get someone to cover for you. She said he feels really bad and needs someone to take him to the hospital." "Why didn't he call an ambulance? Is he that sick? Did he say what is wrong?" Abby voice started to shake. "He didn't say but he sounded pretty bad, look just get out of here and I will corner someone and tell them to stay until you get back or your shift ends, ok?" She nodded and was out the door. As she sat down on the cold El train she put her arms around herself as the train took off. "He looked fine this morning." She said to herself, thinking of all the bad possibilities that it could be. Thoughts of fear rushed through her head, she always thought the worst, and now when her life was going so good, she was afraid she might not be able to make it without him. She shuddered on the train as it came to her stop. The fifteen minutes had seemed like seconds, and the previous hours were a blur to her. "That's what happens when you are panicked." she thought. She didn't even realize she had forgotten her coat. It had been one fast day.  
  
She rushed out of the train, almost at a run. The cold rain had not stopped all day. It was now almost six and she knew that soon the streets would be filled with little children in costumes having a good time, she hoped one day that their child would be walking these streets too. She got to the apartment door and started to fumble with her keys. Once she found the right one she jammed it into the door. She stopped, took a breath and turned the key. Once she opened the door she mouth dropped open, and she couldn't speak. She was breathless at the sight before her.  
  
To be continued  
  
Hope you like it! Let me know what you think!  
  
Always,  
  
Kathleen 


	2. A Sound Sleep

Chapter 2 A Sound Sleep  
  
The whole apartment was decorated with pumpkins and lights. Abby could smell pie cooking in the oven, and the whole room had an orange glow. She walked in and slammed the door. She was glad that this 'emergency' wasn't a real one but she was also very mad that Carter hadn't thought that she might get this upset. She yelled, "Carter! Come out here. You know you really make me mad sometimes!" Out from the bedroom came Carter, but he didn't look like normal. He was sweating and was very pale. Abby now seeing him give his weak smile said in a softer tone, "My god are you alright?" "Yeah" he said, " I didn't lie about being sick, and when I called I didn't feel all that bad but I wanted you home. Then later I got bored so I decorated a little so we could have a fun Halloween. Now that your back though, HA, I'm glad because I'm really not feeling well. I think I might have the flu." Again he gave his cute smile that just melted her heart. "Oh well you look awful. Sit down and I'll get you something to drink." While she walked into the kitchen he grabbed a blanket and sat down on the couch, pulling his feet up to his chest. "I hope I didn't make you angry. You sounded like it when you walked in, I can have all of these things down in an hour if you want." "No" Abby said from the kitchen, "I was just really worried when you called, I'm glad it's not as serious as it sounded, although you do look pretty bad." "Well I feel pretty bad." Carter said with a half a laugh. "When I woke up I felt pretty bad but I tried to go to work anyway. I got halfway down the block and thought I was going to be sick! So I just came back and called in." "Did you take your temperature?" Abby said as she handed him a glass of ice water and sat next to him. As he answered she put her hand on his forehead. "Yeah I did when I came back, 101. That's why I thought I had the flu. Then after I slept a little more and woke up again I felt a lot better. So I decided to do all of this. Then I got halfway through carving the pumpkin and I almost passed out. Sorry I didn't get to finish it. It WAS going to say 'Happy Halloween Abby' but I only got through 'Happy Hall'" "Don't worry about it." She said with a caring smile, "I will get you feeling better and then you can finish it." She kissed his head again, but this time she could feel the heat coming off of him. "Why don't you go take a nice cold shower and I'll make you some soup ok?" Carter nodded and with some difficulty got off of the couch and headed for the bathroom. "I won't be long." He said as he closed the door behind him.  
  
Abby started to open a can of tomato soup when she heard coughing sounds from the bathroom. She walked over and knocked on the door, "Carter are you ok?" Muffled sounds and then she heard, "Yeah sorry I just thought I was going to be sick, I'm ok though." Abby waited a minute at the door and once she heard the water turn on the made her way back to the kitchen. Carter really did look bad. He was fine last night, she wondered what could come on that quickly and make him be that sick. Even though he was joking about needing to go to the hospital, if his temperature went any higher he would have to go for sure.  
  
Ten minutes later Carter emerged from the bathroom looking even worse then before, but now at least his hair was matted with water and not sweat. Although he was already wearing his thick gray sweatpants and his long Chicago Bulls t-shirt he went into the bedroom and came back with another sweatshirt and a blanket. "I usually don't get very sick. Hell I usually don't get sick at all." Abby smiled as she entered the living room with two bowls of soup. "Well the good news about being indoors on Halloween is that there is always something on TV!" she said with a smile. "I'm sorry about getting you off of work Abby, I know it's not exactly your dream to leave work where at least you get paid for taking care of sick people to come home where you don't get paid but still have to." "Well" she said with a grin, " I get paid in another way." He smiled as she kissed him again. She felt him relax as he put his head in her lap. "Can you just sit with me for a little bit?" "Absolutely" she said as she reached for the TV remote. After finally finding the right movie, Dracula 2000, she reached for Carter's blanket and tucked it in around him. "You should really try to eat or drink something." She said to him as she stroked his hair. "I'm not really in the mood to eat. I just want to go to sleep." Carter sat up and rubbed his eyes. He put his head down and clasped his hands around his neck. Sighed. "Well I am sorry to be such a loser but I think I have to go to bed. I know it's early but could you come in as soon as you can. I would really like some company. it's dark.and scary. and after seeing those cheesy effects I'll be scared for life!" He joked. "Yeah ill be in there in a second, ill just clean this up and take a shower ok?" Carter smiled and headed into the bedroom. Once she cleaned the soup bowls she walked into the bedroom to find Carter still awake. She turned on a lamp to find her nightclothes and then sat down on the corner of the bed. He was so white and his beautiful lips were rough and chapped. He had gotten red rings around his eyes but even like that he still looked so handsome. "I'll be back in fifteen ok? You should really get some rest." Carter winked at her and closed his eyes. She walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Ten minutes later she was out with her hair up in a towel. She walked quietly to the other side of the bed being as careful as she was that morning not to wake him if he was asleep. She crawled into bed and put her arms around him. She always liked to feel his steady breathing. She looked at the clock that read 9:45. It was a little early for her to be sleeping but he had asked her to hold him, and she thought the amount of times that he had held her, she owed him one. She felt as his chest rose and fell, but it did so very faintly like that of someone who is very sound asleep. In another ten minutes she awoke to the TV, she hadn't turned it off. "Damn" she thought, "Now I might wake him up." But as she moved her hands she realized that Carter had become very cold. She put her hands on his chest again to find that steady rise and fall that she loved and didn't feel it. Suddenly a panic came over her. She rolled Carter over on his back and shook his arm. "Carter, Carter!" she yelled. No response. She shook him again and then put her hand on his neck trying to feel for his pulse. Nothing. Now frantic she opened his mouth only to find it filled with blood. She jumped off the bed and headed for the phone. 9-1-1. "911 yes this is an emergency.. My Boyfriends dying!".  
  
To be continued  
  
Hope you like it! Tell me what you think!  
  
Always, Kathleen 


	3. Just Beneath the Surface

Ch. 3 Just Beneath the Surface  
  
The ambulance was at the apartment in under five minutes, a little bonus to being so close to the hospital. The paramedics quickly came in and assessed the situation: approximately 30 year old male, Caucasian, no breath, no pulse. The paramedics put Carter on a gurney and started to make their way down the hall to the ambulance. The only thing that Abby could manage to say was, "Can I come with him?" a simple request that was granted by a nod from the last paramedic that was in the room. Soon they reached County General Hospital and the ambulance came to a screeching halt. In seconds the paramedic opened the door and Abby's gaze was met by Luka and Susan. Their shocked expressions fit the moment; however there was only a momentary pause until everyone was in action. Luka reached to grab the gurney and helped bring it down. They rushed into the hospital while a paramedic gave Luka the needed information. Susan stayed behind with Abby for a moment and helped her out of the ambulance. "Are you ok Abby?" Simple questions first, that was rule number one when dealing with someone in shock. Abby nodded with her head down not being able to meet Susan's eyes. "What happened, can you tell me?" Susan took her by the arm and tried to bring her face up. "Abby, can you tell me?" Abby tried to speak, her voice was weak and when she opened her mouth to answer her best friend's question nothing came out. Susan realized that it might be a little too early for her to be able to think logically so she led Abby into the doctor's lounge and said, "Wait here, I will go fix up Carter and I will come back in when he is back to normal." Susan spoke with a cheery tone but still no response from Abby. Walking a little closer to her she said, "Abby, he will be ok. Don't worry, we have all the best people with him." With that Susan walked out and started a quick jog to Trauma Room One where Luka and Pratt were already going through the motions. Carter was intabated and Pratt was doing compressions while Luka was barking orders to the nurses. After they had given him an IV and the normal medicine Luka realized compressions weren't going to do it. "Charge the paddles to 200." The buzz of the difibrillator sounded as the current came. "Ready, and clear." Luka held the paddles to Carters bear chest as his whole body rose two inches off the gurney. No rhythm. "Charge to 250, and clear!" Luka shocked him again. No rhythm. "Damn it come on! Charge to 300. Clear." The desperation in his voice was audible and as Carter's body rose again after the shock Susan looked back to see the faces of Dr. Weaver, Romano, and Chen looking desperately in as their friend was in between the thresholds of life and death. She looked back to Luka. "No rhythm" the nurse told him. "Charge again." Luka shouted. "Luka, are you sure?" Pratt said while pressing on Carter's chest. Luka looked up, "Yes I'm sure now stand back!" Luka pushed Pratt to the floor and then shouted again, "Clear!" Susan shut her eyes, unable to watch as her friend was once again shocked, then silence. Everyone was looking at the monitor as the flat green line passed with an ear-piercing buzz. Luka dropped his head, not sure what to do next. He couldn't shock him for very much longer. The silence was almost unbearable, then 'Beep'. They all looked up. 'Beep' 'beep' the heart rhythm came on the monitor and everyone let out a sigh. "Oh my god." Crept out of Susan's mouth as Pratt reached his feet from the floor and Romano came in. After a second Romano spoke, "Well I'm glad to see that you ER people went to med school after all. Nice work everyone. Now lets find out what's wrong with him to see if he needs to go up to the REAL hospital floor." As Romano left the tension did so with him. Susan was very happy that she could at least tell Abby some good news, for the moment at least, about Carter. When she walked into the doctor's lounge she found Abby pacing back and forth, she looked up as Susan came into the room. "Is he ok?" Abby asked desperately. "Abby you need to sit down." Susan said in a calm voice. "Oh my god, Susan tell me now." Susan Pulled up a chair and tried to lower Abby into it but she wouldn't sit. "No! Susan tell me now! Is he ok?" at this point all the force from her voice had gone and tears started to fall as Abby collapsed into she chair that Susan had set for her. Susan crouched down beside her and lifted Abby's head up. "We had to shock him a lot. We still don't know if he is ok but we got is heart started again. He's breathing on a ventilator and Luka is running some tests. Like I said, we still don't know what's wrong with him so you need to tell me what happened so we will be able to help him better." Susan's calm voice helped bring Abby's feelings under control. "So he is stable now?" Abby said with a painfully sore voice. Susan just nodded waiting for Abby's response. "I came home." Abby started, and then swallowed hard. "He had decorated the whole apartment. He wanted us to have a good Halloween together. He looked really pale and clammy and he told me his fever was 101. He said he had felt like passing out a couple of times and that he had gotten sick a few times also. He felt really hot to the touch but said he was really cold. We went to bed and.. And then he just stopped breathing. There was blo ." She stopped and cleared her voice again. "There was blood everywhere when I came back in the room. Susan I was so scared. Please help him." Tears came again as Susan let out a sigh. She knew that wasn't enough information for anything helpful so she just brought Abby into a hug. Once she felt Abby relax she let go and said, "Anything else? Anything out of the ordinary in the last few days?" Abby looked up trying to remember anything. "He hadn't been sleeping very well, but then last night he was like a rock so I thought he was better." "Good Abby, anything else?" Susan asked, trying to squeeze out any additional information. Again Abby looked up and thought. After a few moments she said, "His back had been hurting him. I told him he should stop the yoga for a few days. The only other thing I can think of is his neck." "What?" Susan said with a new interest. "His neck. Right before he had gone to bed he had been rubbing his neck like he usually does. When I looked at it, it looked red like he had been rubbing it for awhile." Susan's mind raced. Vomiting, fever, back and neck pain. The only thing that didn't make sense was the blood in his mouth. "Ok Abby, I'll go check on him and I will be back soon to let you know." Susan walked out of the lounge and grabbed Luka as he walked by. "Did you take some tests yet?" "Yeah they are coming back soon." "Did you figure out why he had blood in his mouth?" Susan asked. "Yeah, he had bitten large part of his tongue. Probably had a seizure due to his high fever." Luka said as he stopped walking to look at Susan in the face. "Oh god." Susan let out. "What?" Luka said as he looked at her. Susan started again, "You need to do a spinal tap. I think he might have Meningitis." Luka looked confused, "Why, what did Abby tell you?" Susan ran her hands through her hair, took a breath and answered Luka. "Abby said he had a fever all day, sleeplessness, vomiting, back pain, and when we went to bed early he had neck pain. If you add convulsions to that, that's classic Meningitis symptoms." Luka rushed over to Carter's room. "If the lumbar puncture comes back high in protein you might have a hell of a save." Luka grabbed the kit and rolled Carter on his side. Susan saw the scar on his lower back where he had been stabbed a few years back. "If you survived that, you have to make it through this" she thought. Luka carefully extracted the fluid and rushed it up to the lab. Ten minutes later he was back down. "Susan, you were right. Meningitis. Good save! Let's shoot him up with some antibiotics and see what we can do. Why don't you go tell Abby." Susan was relieved that they had found what it was, and although it was still very serious, she had a fairly good feeling. She walked in and asked Abby to come with her. As they were walking down the hall to his room Susan started to explain to Abby what they had found. By the time they reached Trauma Room One Abby had gotten the gist of the situation. "Is it ok if I stay with him?" Abby asked. Susan just nodded. "Yeah we just have to give you a shot to make sure you didn't get anything. I'll be back in five with it." Susan left and Abby walked into the room and pulled up a chair. There were tubes all in him. The sight didn't bother her though. She laid her head down on his chest and after moving to the right place heard her favorite thing, the steady beating of his heart. She was afraid at one point that she would never hear that again, or feel the warmth of his even breathing. Even though he was still very sick, she felt a lot better just being with him. A few hours later Carter woke up. He looked very tired but was good enough to be taken off the ventilator. He sat there with his cute, weak smile as Abby sat with him. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that Abby. I should have told you everything from the beginning but I didn't want you to be scared." Abby just shook her head. "The only important thing is that you are going to be ok. I love you so much." She said as she once again put her head down on his chest. After most of their friends had come in to see how he was doing they moved him into an exam room to where it would be quieter. After about an hour they had both begun to drift off to sleep. Abby did not see Romano talking with Luka about the rest of his test results outside their room. Luka brought his head down into his hands. After a moment he looked up and said, "Do you want me to tell them?" "No" Romano said. "Contrary to popular belief, I can actually be a nice guy. I used to be a surgeon, I will tell them what's wrong." As Romano moved to walk into the room Luka grabbed his arm. "You might want to tell Abby first. Separately. Then let her tell Carter. It might be easier that way." Romano nodded and walked into the room. Abby woke and looked up to see who it was. Romano smiled and asked, "How's he doing?" "Sleeping." She replied. "Well that's always good. How are you doing?" "I'm ok now." Abby replied with a smile. Romano stretched out his hand and said, "Why don't we step outside so I can talk to you for a second." Abby with a puzzled look stood up without touching his hand and walked out with him. He shut the door and motioned for her to come to the lounge with him. There was a new young doctor in the lounge that looked up as they entered. "Do you mind?" Romano said in a calm voice. "No." The young man replied as he looked down and started to read his magazine again. "No you nim wit! Get out! Don't you have anything you can do? Never mind. I don't care what you do, but if you aren't out of here in five seconds the next time you come back you better have a knife sticking out somewhere cause you sure as hell won't be working here!" Romano grabbed his magazine and threw it out the door. Within seconds the young doctor was out and Romano motioned for them both to sit down. With a sigh he began. "We fixed up the Meningitis with some antibiotics thanks to Dr. Lewis's catch." Abby nodded in a tense way. She knew Romano didn't pull her out to tell her that. "But.." he continued "we got back the rest of the lap tests a little while ago. The reason it took so long is the fact that I ran them twice to be sure. I'm glad Luka took some of these, otherwise we wouldn't have known." Abby shook her head. She didn't understand what he was trying to tell her. "What is it? What's wrong?" her voice was filled with the same tension as before as her pulse began to race again. "It was a good thing we tested him. We would have missed it. It's so funny how we find these things. Always just beneath the surface."  
  
To Be Continued Hope you like it! Tell me what you think!  
  
Always,  
  
Kathleen 


	4. A Precious Thing

Ch. 4 A Precious Thing  
  
Romano took Abby by the hand, he was right he could be very sweet if he tried, and he brought his face close to her while never moving his eyes from hers. "Ok" he began, "When we gave Carter an X-Ray there were some masses by his liver that could have been anything. So we took some blood tests, and Abby I personally checked them twice, everything that came back was all consistent with Metastatic Liver Cancer." As Abby leaned back in her chair she closed her eyes and a tear rolled down her face. "Now it might not be as bad as it sounds." To that Abby rolled her eyes, "I'm not just one of these happy ignorant people you can tell that too." To that Romano cracked a small smile. "Yeah I know, your right, so I wont beat around the bush. He." Romano quickly changed his wording, "You guys have three options as I see it. One is Chemotherapy. Now in early stages of the disease that might do it all, however Carter's is right on the borderline so for now I wouldn't leave that as our saving grace. Second is for some surgeons to go in there and remove some of the tumors. The problem with that is that on the X-Ray they are all really close together so we can't tell how many there are. If we do this and there are too many then it will be a waste of time that had opened him up to infection." Abby now had her head down in her hands. She could feel Romano's apprehension to the third possibility and now she was feeling almost sick. "The third option we have is looking like our best one. That is a transplant. Now the good thing with the liver is that we don't have to wait for a brain veggie or car mash to come in. As long as we find someone who is a match to Carter then we can remove his infected liver, and a little less then half of the matching person's and BAM! You have one healthy good looking doctor boy back in action." This lighter remark almost made Abby smile, but then her mind raced back to the information that Romano had just told her. "Ok" she managed to say, "Let me go in and tell Carter." As they both stood up and looked into the exam room window Abby reached for the door then turned to Romano, "Thanks. Thank you for doing this. I'll wait for Carter to wake up and then I'll tell him." Romano nodded but as he turned to walk away he stopped and without turning around said, "Abby. I wouldn't wait too long to decide. Time is a precious thing." With those haunting words Romano left Abby to tell her best friend. The man she loved, his very limited options and get him to pick one as quickly as possible.  
They both sat there for a half an hour without talking. Abby had already said enough. This was hard for her but she knew it was even tougher for him. He always liked to be the stronger one of the two of them. He rarely asked her to do anything for him unless it was to pick up some take- out or to rub his neck. For the first time he really needed her, and she was scared of only one thing, that she might let him down. "Ok" Carter finally said, "Lets find a match." Abby smiled. She knew he made the right choice, the only one he could. As she stood up she pulled her hair back and kissed him on the forehead. She was relieved that his temperature had gone back down to normal and he was beginning to look better. "I'll go tell Romano and he will get cracking on it. We will call up your family and you better believe that everyone here is going to be tested also!" They both smiled as she left the room. Carter was starting to feel better but he couldn't believe that this had happened to him, and now of all times. He laid his head back on his hospital pillow and remembered what he had wanted to do the previous night but hadn't gotten the chance. Abby was going to walk in and see the beautiful decorations. She would have been home at the perfect time that his pie would have been out of the oven. They would have gone out to the quiet Italian restaurant down the street for dinner. Carter didn't care much for it but Abby did. He would do anything for her. Once they came back it would have been pie time. Once on the couch he would have started his speech that he had been practicing for weeks now to make sure he hadn't left anything out. A speech about love, how much he loved her and needed her. Then he would have gotten down on his knees and slipped a beautiful ring on her finger, "I love you with all my heart, will you marry me?" That's what he would have said. It all seemed so wrong, nothing was supposed to happen that night, everything was supposed to be perfect. He thought back in his head on the night that he almost asked her to marry him but didn't. "I must have been dumb." He thought. "I hope it's not too late now. I need her to know."  
After Abby told Romano his choice they all swung into action. Calling up relatives and making tests. After they drew blood from just about everyone in the hospital and Carter's family that was in Chicago, Romano took them up personally to the lab for the tests to be made. Abby and Carter sat alone in the exam room. All of their friends had walked by and wanted to join them but after seeing Carter and Abby's faces decided it was best to let them be for now. Until the tests came back. The next morning Romano was woken early. "We have the results." No snappy wiseass remarks came out of his mouth. He shot out of bed and grabbed the chart, searching for the only word that mattered, 'Match'.  
Romano called Susan on her cell. "Susan get Abby and Carter up now! They need to hear this right away." Susan hung up the phone and ran to the exam room. "You guys need to hear this, they found a match!" Carter's face lit up. Abby looked in shock, "Really? Who?" "I don't know" Susan responded, "But it is a great thing! Romano wants to take Carter up to the OR soon to brief him and get things ready. Come on I'll wheel you up." Everyone's face was glowing. Once they reached the OR Susan had barley opened the Exam Room doors before her happy face was shot to a more serious one. There stood Romano, Pratt, and Deb waiting for them to enter. Once everyone was settleled Romano started. "Ok here's the scoop. Somehow by the grace of God you and hommie-P here are a match." Carter's eyes got big and his face turned pale. Pratt looked up and immediately started shaking his head. "I'll be damned, you two are blood brothers!" Romano was the only one who thought his joke was funny. Carter looked at Pratt waiting for a response. Deb started in, "I don't know about this. What is the possibility of this working and what is the possibility of them dying in surgery?" Romano shocked at the response given said, "Well 60-40" "of it working or not?" Pratt shouted out. "No. Living-dieing ratio. The chances of it working are 50-50. A whole lot better then our other options." Romano said, his voice now raised in irritation. "I'm going to be a father in six months, I-I don't know about this!" Came the soft reply from Pratt. Romano getting furious now started pacing. The only expressions on Abby and Carter's faces were that of shock. "You know what Pratt, it is your decision and it is one that you and Chen have to think over, but quite frankly there are only too kinds of people I hate, one are procrastinators and the other are cowards. We can't afford for you to be either!" Romano shouted. Finally after a long silence Pratt and Chen left the room and soon after so did Romano and Susan. "I will see you guys soon, ok?" Susan said in her always-cheery voice. Once the door was shut they both looked in at Abby and Carter. "It's not fair. People finally find love then one gets sick. They finally find hope and it gets shot down. It's just not fair." Susan said quietly. Romano looked at Susan surprised at the anger in her voice. "It's funny." He said. Susan, shocked as Romano's choice of words asked, "I beg your pardon? What in the hell is funny?" Romano looked up at her. His watery eyes almost broke her heart. "The two most precious things in this world we have the least of." After a moment of silence Susan looked back at him, "What are they?" she asked. Again he looked up at her, clearing his throat first to be sure not to have it crack. "Love and time. They have the one but not the other, only Pratt can give them time, and right now I'm not sure if he will." Silence. It was awkward for Susan to be this close to Romano, normally she thought he was a jerk but now she was seeing the other side of his cool exterior, she saw that he really did care. Romano changed his voice to the cocky, angrier tone that everyone was used to and said, "I will go talk to Pratt so he doesn't take up anymore of it." With that Romano walked off to go 'talk' with Pratt. Although Susan didn't know how much 'talking' would really be going on she knew that there wasn't any in Carter's room. Carter and Abby were both just holding each other, scared now that they might have to spend the rest of their lives apart. Susan wouldn't let that happen. "Love and time" she said to herself, "Love and time." 


	5. Another Twist of Fate

Sorry everyone! It seems like this one didn't upload! Here it is though!  
  
A Silent Prayer Ch 5 Another Twist of Fate  
  
After they had both had some time to breath Carter finally looked up and sat back in his hospital bed. "Now I know why all my patients complain about getting a new mattress. These things suck!" The slight levity of his words relaxed the situation and Abby realized that although he might be sick, he wasn't gone yet. "Let me go see how everything is going, ok?" Abby didn't wait for his response, she needed to take a break and do something, anything that wasn't involved with this. Once she left the exam room she headed for the coffee machine. She hadn't gotten any sleep in almost thirty- six hours and she was dragging. "You going for the caffeine too?" A friendly voice from behind her said. Abby turned around to meet Susan. Abby nodded as she tried to put her dollar in. Once is was securely in the machine the coffee cup fell and started to be filled with hot back liquid. As they were waiting for it to be filled up Susan started to talk, "You know Abby, I am really sorry ab." she was cut off by Abby walking away from her and down the hall. Susan, with a slightly puzzled look on her face, started down after her. "Abby! Wait, why don't you stay up here?" Abby just shook her head; she needed to just be away for a while, just to clear her head.  
  
Abby sat down in the diner at Doc Magoos. Within a short amount of time a waitress was at the edge of her table to take her order. 'Finally' she thought 'Someone who doesn't know about all of this.' After deciding momentarily Abby picked some scrambled eggs and pears on the side for a nice breakfast at three in the morning. After she ordered she sat there, glad that no one was in the diner but her at the time, but also glad that she got to take a break from all of that. Everyone feeling sorry for her, for them both, she felt bad but at least now knew why the spouses of her patients had to leave after awhile. Determined to think about something else she brought her hands to her face and felt her whole body relax. Soon her food was ready and sitting on the table. Abby just looked at it, she wasn't really hungry and she didn't know if she could eat it anyway. She wasn't sure anymore if she could do any of it. She just wanted to quit.  
  
Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Romano was trying to talk Pratt into going through with the procedure. It turned out that Chen was more against it then anyone. "If the odds are that bad I don't want him to go through with it! The only thing worse then losing Carter would be to lose Pratt too!" Romano dropped his head; they had been going through this for an hour now and hadn't made any progress. "Look" Romano started, "The sooner we start this the better the odds. If you are not going to help out your friend I need to tell him so he can start making arrangements." Pratt looked up, he was a little confused, it was all going pretty fast for him to handle. "What kind of arrangements?" Romano stood up and pushed his chair in to walk away. "His last ones." He said out of the side of his mouth as he started to pace away.  
  
Romano walked to Carter's door to give him an update. He felt bad that Carter had to wait so long for one of his 'friends' to help him. He was trying to put the words together that he needed to say to him, he just couldn't figure out a way to tell him that he was probably going to die. As his hand reached the doorknob to Carter's room a force on his shoulder pulled him around. Pratt had him by the shoulders, pinning him against the door. "I am NOT a coward. I-I won't quit on Carter. You tell him I'll do it, but you better sure as hell not to the surgery!" Romano looked down at his arm, which had been amputated just below the elbow about four months prior. "Corday will handle it. Now, she is the best surgeon in the hospital." As he turned to walk into the room Pratt turned to walk away. "There is no going back now Pratt. But you made the right choice." Pratt just held up his hand as he walked over to tell Deb his decision. She wouldn't be happy, but no one was going to say he wouldn't help a friend.  
  
Carter's expression lightened into a huge smile. "I can't believe he is going to do it! When do you start?" Romano uncrossed his arms and looked at his watch. "In about an hour." Carter leaned over to grab his bag, which lie on the floor. Once he grabbed it he started searching frantically. "What are you doing?" Romano asked. "I have to call Abby. I need her to be here before we go though with this. I-I have to ask her something." Romano, semi understanding what Carter meant nodded and started to leave the room. "I'm paging Corday, just make sure Abby is here in forty-five minutes or whatever you say is going to have to wait." A half an hour later Carter was becoming frantic. Susan walked into the room to wish him well and saw the terror in his face. "John, what's wrong?" The cheer in her tone had been long since gone and had now shifted over to worry. "I can't find Abby. I need her to be here with me before all this happens, just in case it doesn't work out." Susan smiled. She didn't know what to tell him. She couldn't say that she had seen Abby bolt out the door and hadn't returned any of the calls that she had tried too. "I'm sure she will be here." Was all she could stand to say. "She knows you love her. If things don't work out she will always know that." Corday and Romano burst into the room. Corday started in her calm British voice, "Ok boys, let's get going. Pratt is all ready, all we need to do with you is get you up there and knocked out." She smiled. She still could since she hadn't been here for all of the tense and hard moments that had occurred in the past 50 hours. It was ok for her not to have been there. She could understand the situation well, after Mark; she was the only one who could.  
  
As Carter was wheeled into the operating room Susan took off down the hall and outside the hospital to see if she could find Abby. She ran in Doc Magoos. The waitress said she had seen a woman like that but she had left an hour ago. Susan walked out of the diner. The cold October wind was blowing once again. She could already tell, it was going to be a stormy day. Meanwhile, back in the OR Carter was almost ready. Looking up at everyone in blue gowns and masks, it was a nerve-racking sight. Then a friendly voice, Dr. Corday had scrubbed up and arrived. "John, ok we are going to give you something to make you go to sleep, when you wake up Abby will be next to you and you will be all better. Take a deep breath in ok?" The anesthesiologist placed the mask over his face. Carter tried to stay awake, his eyes were glued onto the window, hoping and willing that Abby would be there before he went under. As his eyes started to close he was fighting even harder to keep them open. He just kept thinking, 'something has to be keeping her. She knows I need her here. She has to know I love her.' Then the door opened. Susan's sad face appeared and Carter's heart sunk. He couldn't fight it any longer and finally succumb to the medicine. "Ok everyone." Corday started. "Here we go."  
  
Ok Guy tell me what you think! You're almost at the end!!!  
  
Always,  
  
Kathleen 


	6. A Silent Prayer

Regular disclaimer applies, I hope you like it!  
  
Chapter 6: A Silent Prayer  
  
As Dr. Corday made a small incision on the side of Carter's stomach, bright red blood came oozing out. On the other side of the glass Susan was looking in with tears in her eyes. She had seen this kind of operation many times and knew that Corday was a brilliant surgeon, but there was something about today, having one of her best friends lying on that table, that just didn't feel right to her. The past few days had all gone really fast for her and the realization that she might not ever talk to her friend again was really setting in. Romano came around the corner and put his hand on her shoulder. "You need to get out of here." He said. "This operation takes many hours. Go get some sleep or get some coffee. If anything happens I will call you, ok?" The softness in his voice calmed her a little and she nodded her head and started to walk out the door. Right as she reached it she turned around and walked back to the glass. She put her hand against the glass and softly kissed it. As she brought her hand down she looked at the mark that she had left. 'This is it,' Susan thought to herself. 'If it doesn't go well that will be all I have, memories.' She quickly turned to walk away and attempted to hide the tears starting to come down her face. As Susan walked out of the hospital, she realized that she didn't want anything to eat or drink. 'Maybe just a walk' she said to herself. As she wrapped the coat tightly around her chest she looked up at the night sky. It had become a very clear night and she could see the stars beautifully. She always loved autumn nights like these. She could vividly remember the nights when she was a child, looking up at the stars from her roof for hours. And then that night with Carter when they were both waiting for his grandmother to come home. The night when she first realized how handsome he really was. The cool air blew and snapped her back into reality. She slowly made her way to the park, she knew that there were benches by the lake; she figured that would be a perfect spot to sit and think. As Susan passed her favorite oak tree she saw a bench with a shadowy figure curled up on it. As she walked closer to it she could almost make out the shivering, crying body lying there. "Abby?" Susan said. "Is that you? Are you ok?" She was now certain of whom it was and walked over to sit next to her. Abby was sitting there without her coat, shivering, with tears running down her face. "I left him." Abby started to mumble. "He needed me and I left him. I just couldn't stay there any longer. I'll never see him. I just can't.. I- I..." Susan pulled her into a hug. She didn't know what to say. It wouldn't have mattered much anyway in the state that Abby was in. They both sat there until Susan could feel Abby starting to relax. "Are you ok? You must be freezing." Susan said to her. She waited for the response from Abby that never came. After many minutes Abby cleared her throat and began to talk clearly. " I hope that he is ok. I really need him to be with me. I know I don't deserve that after walking out on him before his operation like that but I just didn't want him to have to see me like this. It would have made the situation worse." Susan just nodded. She was looking for the right thing to say. She didn't want anything to come out wrong and upset Abby; Abby didn't deserve any more pain right now. Finally Susan had decided on what to say. " Do you pray much?" she thought the question might get their thoughts away from Carter. Abby looked up at her, puzzled by the question. "Do I pray much? I don't know. Not really I guess. Why? Do you?" Susan pulled her even closer and brought her gaze down from the night sky to Abby's eyes. "I pray when I have nothing else to lose." Susan said, her eyes now shiny with water building up in them. After another awkward silence Abby started to talk again. "I don't know how you can do it." that statement was met by a confused look from Susan. "Be a doctor and be religious I mean. I know I can't. Being in the medical profession and being responsible for people's lives, in all that we do to save them, if some God has the choice to either save them or not no matter what we do then why bother? If he really cares about us then why does he do all of these awful things to people that we see every day? Why did he do this to us? To Carter? If I could get that answered then I would be a believer." Susan was shocked by Abby's frankness. She had never thought that Abby would have all of that to say, especially at a time like this. Susan fumbled around with words figuring that it was better to say anything then nothing at all. "Well you know how I do it? I think that God gives us this one life to do with it what we want. We can take care of our friends or go stab them. We can take care of our bodies or poison them. He has nothing to do with free will. Most of the cases we see are things done by free will. Someone chooses to speed down the highway and hit another car, or someone chooses to overdose on drugs. Those people he can't protect because of free will. He tries to take care of those who don't choose to be ill. But sometimes he gets tired too. And I think that, that is when good people, people like Carter get hurt. Then it is up to us, and our free will to help them. To make sure that God's mistake gets fixed. That was the gift to us, the ability to do that. We just haven't gotten it all together yet. So. when things get really bad, I know that it was just a mistake. Then to get God's attention to it I pray and ask him to please just watch over us, and if we can't get his mistake right, to be right there when that person comes up to heaven. That's all you can do. That's what I do with Carter. It is out of our hands now. And you can do two things, you can sit here in the cold and wish everything was better, or you can come to the hospital and, for better or worse, be with the man that you love. I am going to go to the hospital, I hope you do too." With that Susan got up and started to walk back into the snow, in the direction that she had come from, to be with Carter whether he woke or not. Abby sat there in the park. She couldn't even conceive of moving at that very moment. She was trying to take in the past few days in only a few seconds. She wanted to be with Carter, but she was scared of walking into the hospital and seeing a sheet over him. That was one of her biggest fears, not being able to talk to him again. Not being able to hear his voice tell her that everything was going to be all right. Not being able to walk down the isle with him, or have his kids. But most of all, she was afraid that he would die without hearing her tell him 'I love you'. So she sat there trying to gather up the strength to move, and then she closed her eyes. 'Dear God' She started, 'I know I am not very good at this, but I just wanted to ask you if you could please watch over John Carter for me. He is really sick, and I don't know if I can be there for him right now, so I am asking you to be there instead. We have a lot of love for each other, and I am just asking for you to just, just be with him, no matter what happens.' She opened her eyes and stood up. Even though she hadn't said a word, she knew that her silent prayer had been heard. Whether it was just by her, or if it was by someone greater, she didn't know. She just hoped it would be answered. Abby started to walk to the hospital the same way that Susan had gone. The soft, cool air freshened her up and she felt better now. Her happy mind frame was shattered by the sound of her beeper. She took it off of her waistband and looked at the number. It was Susan's. Next she scrolled over to the message option. The only thing it said was H-U-R-R- Y.  
  
Ok guys! I hope you liked it! Only one more chapter left. Let me know what you think!  
  
Always,  
  
Kathleen 


	7. The Greatest of Gifts

Chapter Seven: The Greatest of Gifts  
  
Abby dropped her beeper at the sight of Susan's message. Then she started at a full out run. The hospital was a good twelve blocks away and the cold October air made her lungs burn. Abby tried to block out all of the thoughts that were flooding into her mind. She knew that Susan's message was bad. All that she wanted to focus on was getting to the hospital in time.  
"Clear!" Carter's chest rose as the electric current raged through his body and shocked his heart. Elizabeth stood back as she watched a fellow surgeon call for the paddles to be set to a higher charge. She couldn't let her friend die, not like this. "Clear!" Carter's body was shocked again. Susan, who was standing outside the operating room, was horrified. She had seen many operations go badly, but all she could think of was Abby. "If Abby doesn't come," Susan thought, "She will never forgive herself." Then a tear fell from Susan's eye as the surgeon yelled again, "Clear!"  
Abby's legs ached; her throat and lungs burned, and tears were falling from her face. As she went to get up onto the sidewalk she tripped and fell into the snow. Her face hit first, scraping her chin and cheek. Abby slammed her hand into the concrete. "Why!" she sobbed, "Why won't you let me get there?" She couldn't get up. Every muscle in her body froze as panic, shock, and fatigue finally set in. With all the will in her body she slowly brought herself onto her feet. Then, catching her second wind, she started at a slow jog again, her eyes fixed only on the red hospital sign that read, "Cook County General".  
Romano paced. He was never good with words and certainly didn't wish to make the situation worse. He turned as he heard a noise from the door. He was shocked as Abby came in through it. Her face and hands were bleeding badly and she was almost blue. Romano walked over and caught her as Abby fell into his arms. He looked at her pain stricken face, "Abby come sit over here." Romano carried her over to a chair that was sitting in the hall. Abby looked through the glass that separated the operating room from the waiting hall. She could see Carter lying on the table being shocked, with hopes that his heart might start beating again. Abby just put her head into her hands as Romano kneeled down beside her. He tried to talk in a calm voice. "It is ok Abby, Lizzy is with John. It will be ok." Abby just sat and cried. She couldn't hear anything right then, she just wanted everything to go away.  
"Clear!" Carter's chest rose again. Elizabeth's face was white as the real possibility of death finally came into her mind. She didn't want Abby to have to go through what she had when Mark had died. Elizabeth knew well that the death of a loved one is one of the hardest ordeals to go through, and she would never wish it on anyone. The surgeon sighed as he looked at Elizabeth. "Give them to me," she said. Elizabeth took the paddles and walked up to Carter's body. Reluctantly she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Charge to four-hundred." she called. Elizabeth, along with Susan, Abby, and Robert, who were looking on, knew that Carter had been down for a long time. If this last shock didn't work, they were going to pronounce Carter dead. Elizabeth placed the paddles over Carter's heart as a tear fell from her face, "Clear."  
  
Carter's chest rose once again as the electricity surged into his heart. The whole room stared at the cardiac monitor waiting for the solid green line to have a blip in it again. As the flat line passed before her eyes, Elizabeth turned around. She could not bear to look at the monitor a second longer. The incessant beep was almost too much to take as Elizabeth's eyes met Susan's, who was standing in the hall with her hand pressed against the glass. Abby let out a cry; she was realizing that wouldn't get to say any final words to the man that she loved. As tears streamed from Elizabeth's eyes, her heart skipped a beat when she heard a beep from the monitor. She turned around and looked at the other surgeon in the room with her. "It was probably only a fluke." He said, with a hoarse voice. Elizabeth stared at the machine, willing it to beep again. The silence in both the room and hallway was shattered in an instant when the green line jumped again as Carter's heart finally beat by itself. "Beep.." more silence. It was almost too much to take. "Beep.Beep..Beep.Beep.Beep.Beep." Elizabeth almost collapsed as Carter's heart began a normal rhythm again. The other surgeon looked at his machines, "Stats and vitals are up. He just might have someone looking over him tonight." he said. All Elizabeth could do was turn around and give a thumbs up to Abby. Soon Elizabeth regained her focus and took charge again. "Ok, well let's finish this up then."  
Within another hour Carter was out of the operating room and on his way to intensive care. Elizabeth walked over to where Abby, Susan, and Romano were sitting and tried to explain the situation to them as best she could. "Ok then, well here is the deal." Elizabeth had to stop for a second and clear her mind. She had to be in surgeon mode to be able to do this; otherwise she would break down in tears. "Carter is out of surgery. The transplant went well. Pratt is fine. He should recover in a few days. But. as you all know, Carter's brain was deprived of blood for a long time. Right now he is in a coma. Abby, you have to know, he might not wake up. The best thing for you to do now is to go and be with him." Elizabeth couldn't take it any longer. She had to walk away. As she did Abby spoke up. "Elizabeth. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you."  
Abby made the long walk to the ICU alone. It was something she had to do. As she sat there, in the room by herself, she kissed Carter's hand and laid her head on his arm. "Please John," she began to say, "Please John stay with me." Soon she could not keep her eyes open any longer. She closed them and, in an instant, she was asleep.  
Several hours later, Abby was woken by a doctor she had never seen. "Let me look at him." He said to her. "Why don't you go and get some coffee?" Abby reluctantly left and, by the time it took her to walk down to the end of the hall the doctor was calling for her to come back in. Abby ran down the hall and into Carter's room. As she looked at him she realized he was awake.  
Two months later Carter and Abby sat at home on the couch they shared together. It was Christmas morning and they had both just woken up. Abby was curled up in his arms with her face in his chest. Carter sighed. "What a Christmas huh? Did you get everything you wanted?" Abby looked him in the eyes and nodded. "I got you. That is the only thing I want for the rest of my life." Carter smiled. As weird as it seemed, these past few months had really brought them together. "Good" he said, "But I still have one gift left for you." Abby looked around as Carter got up. He had already gotten her a bathrobe and one adorably cute puppy. She wondered what else he could possibly have. All she wanted was more days with him. He came back with a huge box and an even bigger smile on his face. Even though he limped a little, and tired pretty quickly, Carter had gotten over the surgery great. He had beaten the cancer and the odds. He sat down and handed Abby the box. "This is pretty light." She said with a smile. Abby set it on the ground and opened it up. She looked inside the box only to find a small envelope. She picked it up and began to read the letter inside. It said:  
  
Dear Abby, You are my angel from heaven. I love you with all of my heart and cannot imagine a life without you. I wrote this letter because I can't say the words. You have saved me from certain death. Now I have to save myself from a life without you. I love you with all my heart. Merry Christmas.  
  
Always Yours,  
  
John  
  
Abby looked up to find Carter kneeling on the ground. "I have waited far to long to realize one thing. In all my life I have been given many gifts, but the greatest gift of all was given to me by God. He gave me you Abby. Since you are my gift, this is mine to you." Carter took Abby's hand, and brought it down from her face. He gently kissed it and, with his own hands shaking, placed a sliver ring on her finger. "Will you be my wife?" Abby didn't even have to answer. She just knelt down on the floor with him and they held each other. Carter was glad he had finally realized the most important lesson in life. Sometimes the greatest of gifts, are the ones you receive in your heart.  
  
There you go guys!!! I hope you liked my story, and thanks for sticking with me! I have plenty more of ideas for different ones so let me know if you want me to write again! Like I said, thank you for reading, you guys are the best!  
  
Always,  
  
Kathleen O'Pry 


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